October 30, 2009 by alunparry
When Is Free Not Free – When It’s At Virgin Media
Virgin Media’s most basic TV package is free. All channels on their TV M package are Free.
Or so the website advertising says. If you don’t believe me, see for yourself.
These are the channels you’d get on Freeview. That’s how free they are.
Except it’s not true. It’s a big fat heaving stinking sweaty Branson lie!
When I phoned to get it, I was told I had to pay over £4 a month for what everyone else gets for free.
I checked back today to make sure it wasn’t a mistake.
And lo and behold it was! The last Virgin rep had indeed been mistaken.
But don’t get too celebratory. Now it seems that to get the free channels I have to pay over £7 a month.
Why?!!! It’s FREE!!
Well, they gave me a loyalty discount last month because I’ve been with them for ages on their broadband service and I was going to switch to a cheaper option elsewhere.
So they slashed £15 off my bill. Just like that. (Phone them and tell them you’re an 02 customer planning to switch and they’ll do the same for you).
But now I want to add free TV channels to my line rental and broadband package. And they say it’ll cost me £7.05.
It’d be free for anyone else to be upgraded to free TV. But because I’m so loyal that I deserve a loyalty discount, it costs me £7 to get free TV.
The bizarre set of reasons used to try vainly to justify this ridiculous state of affairs was almost comical.
Switch to me, purple faced and exasperated, saying “BUT ITS FREE!!”
Them: “Yes Sir, we CLASS it as free, but in actual fact due to your loyalty discount it will cost £7.05 extra.”
So they class it as free. Yet it costs £7.05. Hands up if you can identify what brain-mashed logical paradigm they are in.
And then, just to add to what is already on the edge of satire, their website proudly boasts: “Once you become a customer we like to think of you as an individual.”
Fetch the spare trousers while I piss myself laughing.